[update] happy birthday to me!

It's my birthday today. As you get older, your desires tend to switch from the materialistic to the more important things in life. You know, like world peace and the hope for a few more Jessica Biel movies. I want less violence and more love. I want Wifey to always be happy because she puts her heart and soul into everything she does. I want Lindsay Lohan to be like she was in "Mean Girls." I want to ride the subway in the morning and not worry about catching the swine flu. Or getting blown up, for that matter. I want a douchebag quota imposed so that we can use Guantanamo Bay for keeping people like Tom Cruise away from the continental US. I want a cure for cancer, already. I want Major League Baseball to introduce relegation so that I don't have to watch teams like the Kansas City Royals ever again. I want teleportation booths invented so that I can have a cup of tea with my grandparents in Delhi and be back in Boston to have dinner with my parents in the same day. I want a remake of Top Gun, minus Tom Cruise and the almost-nude locker room scenes. I want to always be close to those who I love, and if I do lose them, I want to reunite with them someday in a place that has HDTV so that I can watch the Red Sox.